irony
by kyleisgod
Summary: Eric Bischoff, once the head of WCW, was now working for WWE. While some had forgotten the past, many hadn't moved on from it. That's exactly what Bischoff was counting on. NEW CHAPTERS UP!
1. Irony

He needed stitches. Steve Austin had returned to RAW tonight, and this time Eric Bischoff was left a bloody mess out in the ring. He ignored the pain as a doctor stitched him up backstage. He was too busy smiling. Smiling at the irony.  
  
This wouldn't have happened seven years ago. Seven years ago Eric Bischoff would have never, EVER been seen on RAW. Seven years ago Steve Austin returning after a few weeks wouldn't have gotten such a huge crowd response. Seven years ago, Eric Bischoff would have been telling the world over on TNT's Monday Nitro that Austin beaten Savio Vega at the RAW taping and how the viewer shouldn't change the channel to watch such a boring show.  
  
And he'd be right.  
  
Yet here it was, seven years later, and Bischoff was getting beaten up on a weekly basis by a man he had once deemed unmarketable on the very show he and his WCW had competed against just a few years earlier. The irony of it was quite funny. However, after a few minutes of letting it sink in, Bischoff stopped smiling.  
  
"What happened?" he asked aloud. He was speaking more to himself than anyone else backstage. A voice did wind up answering him though.  
  
"Well first you got your ass kicked. Then you got your ass kicked some more!" There was no mistaking that obnoxious voice. Bischoff turned around, bleeding forehead and all, and faked a "nice to see you" smile as best he could. "Hello Paul."  
  
Paul Heyman was another competitor to both Bischoff and Vince McMahon at one point. Vince hired both of them after Bischoff's WCW and Heyman's ECW went under. Vince must have seen something in them. Why else would he have hired them to work for WWE in the first place? They were capable of contributing to his shows in one way or another so why shouldn't he let them? Of course, this didn't mean that he actually liked either man. He probably didn't, which would explain why Eric never got the upper hand in his feud with Steve Austin. Meanwhile Heyman and Bischoff certainly weren't fans of each other.  
  
"You know," Paul said with sarcasm in his voice already. "It's great to see you take one for the team Eric. Or two, or three, or twelve! Christ, why don't they just change your title to 'Austin's punching bag' already?"  
  
"At least I'm able to still contribute physically to the show" Bischoff responded. It was a cheap shot at Heyman's recent neck injury that left him unable to get bounced around a wrestling ring. Unfortunately Heyman was ready with a crude response of his own.  
  
"Oh, you contribute physically alright. How else would you have gotten this job?"  
  
The last thing Eric wanted to do was argue. He was beaten up and had a plane to catch home tomorrow. He quickly changed the subject; going back to the original thought that started this conversation between he and Paul Heyman in the first place. "What happened Paul? What happened to us? Between the two of us we almost had this company going broke. Now WWE is publicly traded."  
  
"What happened? Well, in my case, I ran out of money. In your case, David Arquette became your friggin' world champion and it was all downhill from there!"  
  
"I'm serious!" said Bischoff, shaking his head in growing frustration.  
  
"So am I!" said Paul. "David Arquette man! Of all the people, David Arquette!"  
  
That was certainly a popular theory as to why WCW failed. Eric wasn't blamed for that strange idea as much as he probably should be. This knowledge did little to comfort him. The fact is WCW was dead and buried. There was no going back to that magical time in wrestling history which Eric already knew. Eric Bischoff, once the WCW President and onscreen leader of the NWO faction, had a new job now. A job that, much as he hated to admit it, might very well always be "Steve Austin's punching bag" thanks to his past history with the company. Bischoff gathered his things and headed for an exit. His forehead was healed for now. Heyman followed him on his way out, probably just to continue being annoying.  
  
"When you stop and think about it, it's pretty ironic" Eric said. He was once again talking to himself more than Heyman. "Seven years ago the NWO was the hottest thing going. They carried WCW to huge ratings every week. You had your little ECW thing going too. And yet we're here, backstage at RAW, and we're working for Vince McMahon."  
  
"So what's your point?" Heyman said, a bit mad at the 'little ECW' remark. "So we're working for Vince McMahon. This is a damn strange business Eric, and sometimes those kinds of things happen. You need to stop living in the past like I did and accept what your role is. Both in this business, and in this company!"  
  
Eric Bischoff pondered this for a moment. He then opened a door marked "EXIT" and walked outside.  
  
"I can't." 


	2. Let bygones be bygones

A camera had recorded the whole thing. The whole post-RAW conversation between Bischoff and Heyman was filmed. WWE performers were so used to being on camera they sometimes forgot that they were ever turned on. What did he mean he couldn't accept his role? What was he going to do? Quit the business? Switch brands? Try to buy the rights to WCW again and start it back up?   
  
All those questions raced through the head of Vince McMahon as he watched the taped conversation backstage at SmackDown. He didn't know what the answer was but he also didn't have much time to think about it. He was going to be on TV tonight....Again.  
  
He was doing an in-ring segment with Paul Heyman. He was going to play the face, informing Heyman that he was in trouble for not having found anyone new for SmackDown to replace the defected Matt Hardy or the buried Undertaker. He wouldn't mention the retirement of Nathan Jones. Who would care?   
  
That's when Paul would surprise him and bring out the newest member of SmackDown: Kevin Nash. It turns out the former ECW owner had been at RAW recruiting talent, which would explain why he was backstage to talk to Bischoff. While Nash wasn't the biggest and perhaps not even the best name to switch brands, Vince wanted to make it seem as big a deal as possible. He had invested a lot of money into the guy and he wanted it to pay off even if Nash couldn't do much beyond the muscle man or bodyguard role anymore. So tonight we'd see yet another twenty minute interview segment between two non-wrestlers and one very bad one.  
  
"It's gonna be great TV!" Vince said to himself. It was. But not for the reason he thought.  
  
"That's where you're WRONG, Vince!" Heyman shouted into the microphone later that evening as the segment went on. "You see I have brought in someone for SmackDown. He's seven feet tall. He's three hundred pounds. He is a former WWE champion. I brought in, from RAW, KEVIN NASH!!"  
  
A titan tron video played as Nash walked out to the ring. It featured all the usual Nash highlights. As he stood in the ring and looked back to observe the big screen, he saw himself beating down guys with the same five or six moves he'd always used. One particular image then caught his eye. It was one he didn't like.   
  
A picture of Nash giving the jacknife sign in his old Diesel outfit was shown. It wasn't that in the old picture Nash was in better shape. He was rich and married now. He could afford to let himself go. It also wasn't the fact that he was the then-WWF champion in the picture. Nash had already been world champion enough times in his career. What truly bothered Nash about the image, was the memory.  
  
It's true that after his stint as Diesel Kevin Nash had gone on to bigger and better things in WCW. Diesel was a character however that Nash took pride in. He put his best physical and emotional efforts into being Diesel for the time that he had to play the role. He gave even more when he was asked to play the role as the world champion for a year. Like anything else in this business it was a job to Nash, yet he wanted to give back and did so by doing the best he could with the storylines presented to him. He was treated well. He felt that he had treated the company well until he simply received a better offer. So why, back in the WWF, was his name being dragged through the mud?  
  
Nash remembered watching TV on one of his few Mondays off. He felt like spitting out his beer when they announced that "Razor and Diesel were back on RAW." The confusion didn't last long. Glen Jacobs came out as the "New" Diesel character. It was a joke, and not a very funny one. It was also a joke that lasted more than one show. God knows how long it would've lasted had it actually gotten a better crowd response. Competition was one thing but Vince McMahon and everyone else who created the "New Diesel" were slapping Kevin Nash in the face! All his hard work, all his sweat, all his time spent on making Diesel a star was destroyed in a few short weeks thanks to some imposter that served no purpose but that of a laughable cheap imitation. An imitation that Vince McMahon approved of when the idea was presented to him. In fact now that Kevin thought about it, Vince probably even laughed at the idea himself. The grudge-holding, WCW hating, son of a bitch!  
  
"Where was the other footage Vince?!" Nash yelled in a sudden moment of anger. Nash was supposed to speak tonight but certainly that line wasn't in the planned promo. McMahon didn't have time to respond before Kevin Nash was in his face, looking down at him, asking the same question.  
  
"Where was the footage of Fake Diesel?! Where was the pasty white body and the beer gut?! Why don't you show some of that! Think I forgot about that huh? Think I forgot about you making me into a damn joke! Bygones be bygones my ass McMahon!"  
  
Kevin Nash beat the hell out of Vince McMahon that night. Worse than the script even called for. Heyman tried to break it up but was unsuccessful. Nash laid in some punches that would surely swell Vince's head more than usual tomorrow morning before finishing him off with a powerbomb. Apparently Nash, much like Eric Bischoff, couldn't let go of the past.  
  
At least it did make for great TV. What this would all mean next week was another matter entirely. 


	3. Join the revolution

"This is pathetic!" Tommy Dreamer said backstage at RAW. There was a street fight match booked for the show tonight and the two guys in the ring were terrible at it according to Dreamer's assessment. And who better to judge hardcore style matches than Tommy Dreamer? He was once an ECW cornerstone. Now, he was a WWE superstar.  
  
A very underutilized WWE superstar.  
  
Dreamer hadn't been a regular on RAW for weeks. Sure after years of punishing his body at the ECW arena he wasn't in the best of shape, but if Maven and Garrison Cade could find spots on the show every week couldn't the so-called creative team give Dreamer something to do? He had built a reputation in the business. He had a cult following from his ECW years and a past history with some of the top WWE stars, yet he remained backstage each week.  
  
At least they could've found a use for him while he was back there, right? Wrong. They had already kicked him off the creative team after about a week. He felt it was because he scared them, though he didn't say that out loud. How could he? Nowadays if you rock the WWE boat you're blacklisted from the industry. Dreamer thought outside the sports entertainment box. He presented fresh ideas not involving Triple H winning the world title. How could he POSSIBLY have remained on the writing team after that?  
  
"It's bullshit..." Dreamer thought to himself. Indeed it was. Not only were guys half as experienced as him getting to perform on TV, but even on a night like this where Eric Bischoff no shows RAW, Dreamer still can't get a break. Rather than fill the originally planned Bischoff segments with a wrestling match between two guys being paid to otherwise do nothing, Dreamer still got shafted in favor of a bra and panties match. Total nonsense!  
  
"At least Bischoff has guts," Dreamer said. This time he was tired of holding back his opinion. Now he was speaking to the locker room. At this point in the show it was mostly comprised of fellow undercarders who had worked Velocity matches earlier in the night. "Last week he said he doesn't like being Austin's bitch on TV, so this week he doesn't come to work. Smart man if you ask me. Why am I even here? It's not like I'm doing anything!"  
  
"Tommy you're looking at this the wrong way" Stevie Richards said. "Look at me. I'm Victoria's cheerleader. I made being on Heat my gimmick for Christ's sake. If they don't use you regularly, that's okay. Some guys work better as a novelty act. You'll work in Philly. You'll do the hardcore matches now and then. The crowd will eat it up."  
  
"I'm more than a novelty act though!" Tommy responded. "I busted my ass in ECW. I busted a LOT of things in ECW. And I didn't bust them so I could get to the big time and sit on a damn bench every Monday!"  
  
"Oh, right. You should be world champion cuz you work hard."  
  
"I'm not saying that. I'm just saying I can do more if they'd let me. But they DON'T. And you know what Stevie? Honestly, I don't think they ever will."  
  
"Tommy this is a big company with a big roster man. Sometimes you just aren't gonna get on TV. It happens. That's why they split in two; too many guys for one show."  
  
"They split the damn roster up and I still only do house shows."  
  
"Well what do you want me to say Tommy? RAW isn't hurting for workers right now. This isn't ECW."  
  
Dreamer took a moment to ponder this statement. He was right after all. This wasn't ECW. Tommy Dreamer may never be the RAW champion, but he was okay with that. He knew he wasn't going to achieve the same level of success as he did in ECW. He'd like to see how close he could get to it though, if only they'd let him.  
  
But they weren't going to. As Stevie said, this was not ECW. Sadly, there was no going back to the company just as there was no WCW for Bischoff to go back to. Wherever he'd gone...  
  
"There might be no going back to Philly" Dreamer said "But I'm sure as hell not going anywhere here."  
  
And with that, Tommy Dreamer packed his bags and walked out before the end of the show, just as Bischoff had done last week.  
  
At least they wouldn't have to scramble to replace him on TV. 


	4. The phone call

It was just supposed to be a promo. "I don't know if I'll ever get another shot at the WWE title" Chris Benoit said to the camera. Unfortunately, life sometimes imitates art.  
  
Last week he was wrestling Brock Lesnar. This week he was forced to make Chuck Palumbo look good. Next week he was going to Iraq to face Eddie Guerrero. Even then he had a feeling his match would be cut short so as not to make the Big Show look bad. If the ratings drop was any indication fans would rather see Benoit in main events than Bob Holly. But since when did Vince McMahon listen to what the fans wanted? Never as far as Chris Benoit could tell. Vince didn't listen when Benoit got a standing ovation from the live crowd after the title loss last week. He didn't listen when another crowd reacted similarly after a WWE title match with Kurt Angle at the Royal Rumble last year. Imagine the response if he had actually won! Unfortunately, imagining it might be all Chris Benoit and his fans could ever do.  
  
Kevin Nash didn't show up at the SmackDown taping after the incident last week. Surprisingly Vince hadn't fired him over it, proving again that he NEVER listens to fans. The recent string of walkouts left a bigger hole on RAW than SmackDown so far. With success continuing to elude him however, Chris Benoit started to think as unprofessional as it may be that walking out wasn't such a bad idea.  
  
Unfortunately Vince McMahon was still marketing his company as entertainment. The last initial of the company even changed last year to reflect that philosophy. Wrestling matches were simply filler between interviews and unfunny comedy skits. It had been that way for about six years now. Coincidentally, or maybe not, it was about that long since Bret Hart had left the company.  
  
Everyone knew the story by now. Bret Hart, then WWF champion, was going to WCW. McMahon didn't want to let his champion go to another company with the belt. Vince demanded they take the belt off Hart as soon as possible which happened to mean losing the title in Canada without telling Bret the result. The only people in on the real finish that night were McMahon, referee Earl Hebner, possibly some of the creative team, and Shawn Michaels. Shawn would deny this at first but went on to bare his soul years later. Insiders and fans alike hoped they would turn the whole thing into a storyline one day with Hart returning for revenge against McMahon and/or Michaels. It never came to be. With Bret's recent stroke and a retirement forced by a concussion it was doubtful he'd ever return to a wrestling ring even if he wanted to. Meanwhile after Bret left McMahon with no real top wrestler, Vince put himself into the ring against Steve Austin and the company has been dubbed "Sports-Entertainment" ever since.  
  
Benoit went back to his hotel room after winning yet another meaningless mid-card match and placed a phone call. A phone call to Canada and to Bret Hart.  
  
"The cream always rises to the top," said Hart into his end of the phone. "I was there fourteen years, Chris. After guys like Hogan and Warrior left they needed to build it around wrestlers again. That's when I got my shot. An entertaining character is only entertaining for so long. A good wrestler is essential to the wrestling business."  
  
Benoit laughed uncharacteristically, missing tooth and all. "Yeah, you'd think so. But I'm not a wrestler. I'm a 'Sports-Entertainer' now. Whatever the hell that is."  
  
"Vince McMahon is a lot of things, but he knows talent when he sees it. You'll get your shot."  
  
"I doubt it. I really think the guy has a grudge against wrestling. Bret, what happened? It didn't used to be this way. Just a few years ago great wrestling was respected. Guys like us were measuring sticks. Wrestling companies were built around us because we were good wrestlers performing on a wrestling show."  
  
"A lot of things happened. The NWO storyline happened. ECW happened. Vince's whole 'Attitude' campaign. There's still a place for wrestlers in wrestling though."  
  
"Not here. I'm not saying I need to be the champion or all my matches need to go an hour. I'm just saying if you've got guys capable of putting on good matches, it only makes sense to let them do it and send a crowd home happy. Let wrestlers wrestle and let the entertainers be the mid-carders. That's how it used to be. Then you got screwed over and they never looked back."  
  
"Yeah, well..." said Bret, not really disagreeing with his assessment. He quickly changed the subject so as to not discourage Benoit from continuing to do the good job he knew he was able to do.  
  
"So what's all the stuff I've been reading about the walkouts?"  
  
"Nash, Bischoff, and Tommy Dreamer all left. They didn't quit but they haven't showed up at the shows since last week."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Why else? They're unhappy with some part of the company. Same as I am right now."  
  
"So basically they're striking but without a union?"  
  
"Basically. You think Vince will listen?"  
  
"I doubt it. All those guys are expandable to him."  
  
That was true. These guys walking out wouldn't bother management. People had quit before. They even survived Steve Austin leaving for a few months. If a true walk out was going to happen it needed to hit them where it hurt most: In the TV product.  
  
The brand extension was very important to the McMahon family. They didn't want it to end. A partial roster walk out on both RAW and SmackDown would not only force the remaining brands to grow closer together, but also give the wrestlers that leave a bit of leverage to make demands as far as their returns to TV go. Sure Vince could simply fire and replace all those who dared make such a bold move against him, but a strike of that nature followed by another promotion picking up the just released talents wasn't a chance McMahon would want to take. He'd be stuck. Firing them leaves his roster thin. A full walk out could ruin McMahon's company. If this group of disgruntled employees grew, WWE officials would have no choice but to give in to the demands of the talent. Benoit knew all this from first hand experience when the Radicalz departed WCW about a year before it closed down. A similar fate could await McMahon if Benoit would leave. Then maybe another. And then another...  
  
Benoit hung up with Bret Hart and placed a second phone call. A phone call to WWE headquarters. He left a message giving notice to the sports-entertainment company that he was joining those who didn't come in to work until things changed.  
  
Whether he was released tomorrow or his demands were met next week, Chris Benoit would be wrestling again very soon. That's all anyone really wanted.  
  
Anyone but Vince McMahon. 


	5. the challenge

Eric Bischoff finally returned to RAW. He brought Tommy Dreamer with him. This would've been good news if they hadn't also brought Kevin Nash and Chris Benoit along. The men weren't there to beg for their jobs as management had hoped. Instead they were outside the arena, marching and holding signs proclaiming World Wrestling Entertainment unfair to its employees for their own reasons. It was reminiscent of DX "invading" WCW Nitro a few years back. Only this time the shoe was on the other foot. It was on the foot of Vince McMahon. And he didn't like it.  
  
"Who the hell do they think they are?!" Vince shouted as he watched them march.   
  
Vince McMahon had been referred to in the past as a father figure to some wrestlers. If that were true, then these men were the equivalent of his ungrateful children. In his eyes at least he had given them all so much yet they couldn't wait to walk out on him the minute they disagreed with his rules. He gave Kevin Nash the absurd amount of money he had requested when the NWO returned in 2002. He gave Chris Benoit a national promotion to wrestle in when WCW was making him just as if not more miserable than WWE is now. He gave Tommy Dreamer a paycheck and work schedule the likes of which he couldn't have ever gotten in ECW, even when they could afford to pay him. He gave Eric Bischoff, his most hated off-camera rival, a job on RAW for crying out loud! And now these same men had the nerve to strike against him. Well Vince wouldn't stand for that. He got on the phone and made some calls. He would hold a press conference tomorrow announcing their unconditional releases from the company. Vince McMahon had always presented his WWE locker room as a happy family. If those four didn't want to work for him now, he didn't want them to either. Hundreds of independent wrestlers would kill to be in the positions of those ungrateful bastards, and they'd do it for a lot less money. They would all easily be replaced by next week.  
  
The press conference began with McMahon blasting the talent in question. He called them all selfish and said there was no room in the WWE for those who didn't follow company procedure. Apparently part of company procedure was still calling it "The WWE." Next he spoke about how the wrestling industry had no union with which to officially strike, citing reasons like this for why one would be bad for the business. All seemed to be going well. In Vince's mind he had shot down the idea of a union for the wrestling monopoly he controlled in North America. He had also broken the news of the yet to be signed releases for the wrestlers going against him. A camera crew was present to record his every word. Clips of the event would air on SmackDown with the releases being signed immediately after the Thursday broadcast. This way the fired wrestlers couldn't surprise anyone by showing up in TNA before the news of their departures. Indeed, his speech was going just fine...until it was interrupted by the strikers themselves.  
  
"Who let them in here?" McMahon asked. "Security!"  
  
"Hold on, Vince!" Eric Bischoff said into a bull horn as he and his fellow strikers approached the podium, using the horn to speak over Vince and any press attempting to pose questions.   
  
"We know you're a gambling man, and we have a proposition for you."  
  
Bischoff was apparently acting as spokesman for the group. He was the former head of WCW as well as the first to go on this "strike" of sorts, so it was only fitting that he speak on behalf of the other frustrated, angry employees. The boss didn't want to give any of them a chance to get in front of a live microphone. They would only make him look bad. That was probably why Bischoff bought a bull horn: To guarantee he'd get to speak. Vince suspected the guy just liked hearing his own voice. Despite the Monday night wars between them being over for close to three years now, it was still all about one-upping each other. Just as Bischoff knew Vince wouldn't let him talk, Vince knew that son of a bitch would do some publicity stunt like this to get his voice heard anyway. McMahon played it off as best he could.  
  
"I think Jimmy Hart is gonna want that thing back, pal."  
  
As Bischoff approached his former business rival, the other strikers remained on the floor with their anti-WWE signs held firmly in hand. They moved inward just enough to close in McMahon from walking out on the whole press conference. The cameras being on during all of this only caused the pressure to mount for Vince…and Bischoff knew that as well.  
  
"I don't want to hear any propositions from you" began the wrestling owner. "You are all being given unconditional releases. Perhaps another organization can tolerate your belly aching and selfish actions, but we feel-"  
  
"You just don't get it" Bischoff quickly replied, cutting off the WWE spin on the matter. "None of us want our releases. This isn't about getting fired and working for hicks in Nashville. You're the number one man in this business right now. We all know that whether we like it or not."  
  
McMahon smiled to himself. At least they were telling the truth. He let Bischoff continue with his honesty.  
  
"We'd be more than happy to work for you if you'd just make changes. Changes in the way you use and don't use wrestlers. Changes in how you present your product. Definitely some changes in who runs that product. You need to make changes, and I say that knowing it's the damn truth! You didn't become number one because you were better Vince. You became number one because everyone else, including me, didn't make changes when we had to. I ran with the NWO too long. I ran with Hogan too much. I made mistakes like you're making right now, and WCW died because of that! That and corporate politics killed your competition, not you! Only you're too proud to admit failure like I'm doing now. Aren't you Vince? Making changes is out of the question for you, because that would mean admitting to mistakes and God knows you never want to do that."  
  
The smile disappeared from Vince's face with good reason. A vein in his forehead began to throb. The wrestlers on the floor nodded in agreement as Bischoff continued speaking. Press photographers snapped pictures as fast as their cameras could take them. Kevin Dunn was off on the side, making mental notes of what to edit out. He suspected the entire Bischoff speech would die on the cutting room floor.  
  
"You'll go out and hire Hollywood writers to tell you how great you are. You'll listen to all the yes-men that kiss your ass. You need to start listening to us. We're the employees. We're the opinion that matters because without us, you have no show!"  
  
"Are you quite through?" McMahon asked with a now raised voice. "All of you can be replaced" he said with a bit of a laugh. He refused to be made to look foolish at his own press conference any longer. "World Wrestling Entertainment television shows will go on just fine, if not better, without the four of you on them."  
  
"It'll be your loss," Eric replied. "We can all contribute a lot more than you think. You won't let us do what we do, because your mentality is that we'll show you up. You fail to understand that it isn't 'WCW guys' or 'ECW guys' that you've hired anymore. We work for you and we should all get the most we can out of that situation, including you. And if you won't make changes because of your own stupid ego, we'll make the changes ourselves."  
  
"Oh really" Vince said. "And just how do you plan to do that?"  
  
Eric produced a folded up document from his pants pocket. He handed it to Vince who slowly opened it and began reading. Eric summed up the paperwork.  
  
"Vince, it's very simple. All I and these other men want is an opportunity. An opportunity to make wrestling, excuse me, sports-entertainment history. Because we know we can. And we know you can give us the stage to make it happen. What those papers say is the legal version of our challenge to you."  
  
McMahon had to keep the eyes in his head from bulging out as he read over their idea. Eric Bischoff announced the challenge to the media as Vince read it simultaneously. Despite both hearing and reading it, McMahon still couldn't believe it.  
  
"The four of us got together after walking out last week. And one thing we all agreed on was that the WWE product sucks. And after a lot of debating, we decided what we want to do about that. A best of four, winner take all four match pay-per-view. WWE picks the location. They can even pick our opponents. We however, pick any match stipulations. If your boys win Vince, you can do with us whatever you want. No more striking. No more protesting outside your shows. We'll work for you. You can fire us, make us line up and job to Steve Lombardi every week until our contracts are up, or anything else you see fit."  
  
It was quite a tempting offer. Sports fans loved best-of competitions. Invasion style angles had been big the past few years in wrestling. Vince could milk this for all it was worth on TV and claim all credit if it was successful. Even if it failed he would still own the talent to do with as he pleased afterward. He could reward or punish them as the circumstances called for and not lose any face due to striking or fired wrestlers. Of course there had to be a catch.  
  
"But if we win, we clean house. If we win, Kevin Nash and Tommy Dreamer replace your daughter and that comic book geek on the writing team. They couldn't do any worse. If we win, Chris Benoit books the matches. Finally the good wrestlers can get the good spots again. But most importantly if we win, I take this company away from you Vince. You sell your ownership shares to me at the price I offer for them, just like how you bought WCW from under my nose. I take WWE over and I treat these men and everyone else the way they deserve to be treated, in and out of the ring."  
  
On paper this was certainly an easy decision to make. Vince would be gambling with his own company. If he lost WWE, he had nothing. He had built a wrestling empire. To willingly bet that in any situation would be foolish, especially against men who didn't really have anything of true value to offer up in return. As he'd announced earlier in the conference, WWE could continue on without any of them. For any rationally thinking man this decision was a no. But Vince McMahon wasn't known to think rationally.  
  
All he saw were dollar signs. He saw dramatic promo time that he could give to himself on RAW discussing how important "the WWE" is. He could have his production team make video packages about the history surrounding these men striking and air it on Confidential for big ratings. The video/DVD release of this kind of pay-per-view show would surely sell out as well. Vince McMahon could promote his version wrestling well if he could do nothing else. He knew how to hype things and make people care. Even the very first XFL game had decent ratings. He wanted to promote this kind of show, the first of its kind, overcome their challenge, and in doing both prove his worth in the business to anyone who questioned it. Vince and Bischoff both smiled as only they could. Vince put the paperwork down. He produced a pen and signed immediately.  
  
"You're on!" 


	6. oh the possibilities

Vince had a plan.  
  
The first step was simple. Announce the matches and promote the hell out of the best-of series as No Way Out approached. If there was one thing McMahon knew how to do, it was hype a wrestling event. He used up TV time on both RAW and SmackDown to announce the card. WWE executives toyed with the idea of simply having a four match pay per view but ultimately chose to play it safe and have other bouts as well. The RAW and SmackDown champions would face off while the best-of matches would get, and deserve, most of the attention.   
  
The contract stated Vince could pick the WWE representatives. And pick them he did. In the first match of the series, Kevin Nash would do battle with Kane. It was the ultimate insider shot at Nash over the Diesel incident. It also satisfied the fetish McMahon seemed to have for two large men doing battle in a wrestling ring. Chris Benoit would get his precious pure wrestling match against the best wrestler RAW had to offer: Shawn Michaels. Assuming his WWE team didn't win two straight contests, the other matches would see Tommy Dreamer do battle with a returning Mick Foley, and Vince himself would go up against Eric Bischoff.  
  
Now Vince would sit back and wait for a response from the strikers. They got to pick the stipulations for each match and would likely buy up WWE TV time to give their sides to the story as hype for the event grew. McMahon wasn't worried about the striking, or the match stipulations, or the possibility of fighting Bischoff.  
  
After all, he had a plan.  
  
But the second step of that plan was the hardest one to execute. For although he couldn't read minds and hadn't heard from the strikers yet, McMahon knew that just like at the press conference it was going to become a matter of one-upping each other. Just as Vince had a strategy in mind; Eric Bischoff had a counter strategy prepared for it. When RAW became a two hour show, NITRO became a three. When RAW started at 9:00, NITRO started at 8:55. When Vince began "The New Generation" campaign, Bischoff used "old man" Hulk Hogan in a way McMahon never thought of and turned the wrestling business on its ear. McMahon gave us Steve Austin. Bischoff gave us Bill Goldberg. And so on and so forth.  
  
In other words: Eric Bischoff also had a plan.  
  
And though he would never admit it publicly, that was what made Vince worried enough to take the next step.  
  
Vince McMahon had hurt a lot of people during his time as a wrestling promoter. Even he knew it. If Bischoff was going to gamble his future in wrestling in this manner, odds are he had an ace up his sleeve. He wouldn't have put himself in a match if he didn't have somebody that could help him win it. He wouldn't risk his career and the careers of the others who joined him in the strike unless Eric could guarantee them all victory. The only question was who it would be. The gears grinded in Vince's head as he thought about the possible back up Eric could bring with him to the pay per view, and who Vince could bring with him to counter it. That was step two.  
  
Reports said that Chris Benoit had a conversation with Bret Hart the night before he went on strike. Perhaps the Hitman would be the one selected to try and cost McMahon his company. Talk about poetic justice.  
  
What about Hulk Hogan? Or worse: Mister America. Between the two of them Vince wouldn't stand a chance.  
  
How about some of the men Vince had forever made synonymous with bad wrestling? "Great" gimmicks he had created like Doink, The Red Rooster, and Bastion Booger. Could one of them extract revenge by killing sports-entertainment forever? Could several of them?  
  
Maybe it was someone already inside of World Wrestling Entertainment? "Stone Cold" Steve Austin had walked out on the company before.  
  
McMahon had fired a lot of employees in the last few years. Perhaps one of them could be inclined to side with the strikers. Scott Hall, Buff Bagwell, Jeff Jarrett, Roddy Piper, Sean Waltman, and the list went on.  
  
And who said it even had to be a wrestler? What about someone else Vince had feuded with from his Titan Tower office? Ted Turner, Paul Heyman, the Crockett family, Rena Mero, even Bob Costas. Again the list was too long.  
  
"Wow," Vince said to himself. "I've made a lot of enemies."  
  
Indeed he had. Most were deserved, others probably weren't. Only now he had a chance to make things right. This was an opportunity for Vince McMahon to make a change, which ironically was what this whole best-of series was about.  
  
Vince didn't want to admit in any way that Eric Bischoff was right. But he was. Changes needed to be made in order to save the empire that McMahon had spent years creating. He finally put the second step of his plan into action when he got home from the show that night.  
  
Vince McMahon would do something he didn't like to do. He would admit to being wrong, and finally make changes he didn't have to make in order to avoid making the changes he didn't ever want to. He swallowed his pride and made a phone call to the one man he knew would help him if he could simply admit to being wrong. The man that beyond all doubt was Vince McMahon's worst enemy would soon be acting as his own secret ace come No Way Out.  
  
Truly, that was irony. 


	7. the stipulations

Vince was right about one thing. Eric Bischoff did have a plan. And it was a really great one.  
  
On the last Monday before No Way Out, Bischoff and the other strikers taped a segment and sent it in to be played on RAW. They had spent the last few weeks taping anti-WWE segments and sending them in for air play. Sometimes they would get a taped segment aired and still be seen striking outside of the arena later that night. The strikes would stop after the pay per view one way or the other.  
  
Vince had already told the strikers of their opposition. Now the ball was in the other court. Bischoff and crew would pick the stipulations and the historic card would be set.  
  
The camera panned around the room. The strikers were in a gym tonight. Chris Benoit was seen running on a treadmill. Eric Bischoff was using his martial arts skills to kick the hell out of a punching bag. Kevin Nash was lifting weights. Tommy Dreamer was sitting around drinking beer. No one ever accused Dreamer of being the most athletic of wrestlers.  
  
Nash was the first to speak.  
  
"I've said it before and I'll say it again. Vince, we're takin' over!"  
  
The others roared their approval of that comment.  
  
"Do you remember McMahon?" Bischoff chimed in. "Do you remember how I was always one step ahead of you? I put Flair versus Hogan on pay per view before you. I brought cruiserweight wrestling to America before you. I discovered guys like Triple H and Austin before you. I even became the heel owner before you! And this time, I'm going to be one step ahead of you again. I've got a surprise for you on Sunday."  
  
"Unlike you Vince" Benoit added "This man has respect for wrestling. For you, promoting wrestling was always a weakness. For Bischoff it was a strength that he used against you. At No Way Out, we're going to use it against you again. You want to put the best wrestler you have against me? Well that's fine. Shawn Michaels can wrestle all he wants to against me. Because we're going to compete in an iron man match."  
  
The camera went to Dreamer next.  
  
"The fun doesn't stop there Vince. You stole hardcore wrestling. Then you killed it. Nowadays you glorify Mick Foley as a hardcore legend. Well hardcore wrestling is far from dead McMahon. And Foley? The man is a sell out. He stopped being Cactus Jack and started being an author. He gave up what made him famous for what would make him popular. He traded chair shots and barbed wire to sell t-shirts and wear socks on his hand. At No Way Out, I'm going to bring back hardcore wrestling, true hardcore wrestling, whether you, or even Mick Foley, likes it or not."  
  
"I don't need no stinking gimmicks" Nash said next. "I'm gonna beat Kane's ass redder than it has ever been. Nobody steals my legacy."  
  
The camera finally panned over to Bischoff. He was smiling that trademark toothy grin of his as he paused for dramatic effect.  
  
"So we've got a singles match, a hardcore match, and an iron man match. What could be missing? What would cap off a great WWE pay per view? You and I Vince, we need something special. We need to settle our issues in the most violent manner possible. If you're going to hand over this company to me, you should go out in style. You should go out giving the people what they want for once.  
  
You should go out in a hell in the cell match."  
  
And so the matches were set. Vince McMahon was no doubt watching the show tonight. He would surely see the segment and prepare the troops and himself for action on Sunday.  
  
Meanwhile, Bischoff's secret weapon was all set and ready to be launched.  
  
Unfortunately, so was Vince's. 


	8. the final chapter

This was bound to be a strange night. The idea of some of these matches actually happening was strange. The corporate stipulations involving ownership of the company, booking power, etc. rather than the usual battles for titles or blood was even stranger. RAW versus SmackDown matches didn't seem that unusual thanks to the handling of the brand extension, but the current brand champions that would be wrestling each other later on looked strange on paper.  
  
But possibly the strangest thing of all was seeing Kevin Nash and Kane in the opening match of the evening.  
  
They battled for eight minutes. It was as exciting as a big man match can be. In other words, it wasn't exciting at all. They traded punches and stomps as Nash happily took out his aggression on the Big Red Machine for taking the Diesel name and turning it into a joke eight years ago. There may have been a good reason however that the gimmick was considered a joke when in Glen Jacobs' possession. Not the way it was marketed. Not the storyline that introduced it. The reason may have been simply the condition of the athletes. When Jacobs took on the Diesel persona he hadn't reached his prime yet. His prime was now. Unfortunately for the strikers, Kevin Nash's prime was far behind him.  
  
Kane finished off Nash easily with a choke slam. Doctors helped "Big Sexy" out of the ring afterward with an apparently injured shoulder.  
  
Those eight minutes felt like an eternity to the live crowd. The chants of "boring" filled the building long after both men had exited the ring. The next match more than made up for it.  
  
Shawn Michaels and Chris Benoit put on a match that would have wrestling purists talking for days. The iron man match alone would surely help the DVD sales of this event go through the roof if people didn't just download it or buy it on Ebay first. During the match-up Benoit lived up to his old moniker of "The Canadian Crippler" and worked on the back of HBK. The first fall occurred at the 30 minute mark. Shawn Michaels landed his trademark super-kick and got a pin. Chris Benoit soon rebounded, first hitting the triple German suplex to weaken Shawn, then locking in a sharpshooter for a successful submission fall at 45 minutes.  
  
Over in Canada, Bret Hart had just found his smile.  
  
With only 15 minutes remaining Benoit and Michaels pulled out all the stops. It was one signature move and near fall after another. With the clock ticking down both men began trading punches. And even after wrestling for nearly an hour they were still throwing fists faster than Nash and Kane did.  
  
They say a split second can make all the difference in sports and sometimes in life. That was the case tonight. The bell sounded after an hour of wrestling but the crowd still wanted more. Chants of "Five more minutes!" went unanswered as referees pulled the competitors apart. After catching their breaths, each man un-balled a fist and shook hands in center ring for a fight well contested. In every sense of the word this battle had no winners or losers.  
  
The next match would now have greater implications. The strikers needed a victory to ensure the tie breaking Hell in a Cell match. In another strange moment Vince McMahon was actually pulling for Tommy Dreamer to beat Mick Foley. He very much wanted to get his hands on Bischoff. But even more than that, he wanted to unleash his big surprise. Bischoff felt the same way.  
  
Tommy Dreamer made his way out to the ring with a shopping cart full of weapons. Had he been allowed to come out to his ECW theme instead of the most generic rock music WWE could produce the image would have been much cooler looking. Oh well. The only thing that mattered to "The Innovator of Violence" was securing a victory and hopefully reminding Mick Foley what hardcore wrestling truly meant.  
  
Foley came out next in his Cactus Jack persona. The match was once again the exact opposite of the last contest. Whereas Benoit and Michaels put on a scientific wrestling masterpiece, these men simply brawled. What they lacked in ring psychology they made up for with lots of blood. Clearly Foley hadn't forgotten what being hardcore meant.  
  
Unfortunately while he didn't forget how to swing a barbed wire bat or take a hit with a chair, Mick did forget just how badly it all hurt. He forgot how much energy a hardcore match took out of a person. When he wrestled regularly Cactus Jack could work a hardcore style match in his sleep. Now that he was older, slower, and less active in wrestling, the blood loss seemed to be a bit larger, the impact of the weapons on his skull a bit harder. Cactus Jack would still be considered a hardcore legend in the eyes of fans and insiders alike after this evening. But it was very apparent that Jack was a legend because Mick Foley was an author now, not an extreme wrestler. Dreamer hit the DDT on a stop sign and got a win over the bloody Cactus after 15 minutes of mayhem.  
  
Tommy Dreamer had tied the series between team WWE and the strikers. It would all come down to Hell in a Cell.  
  
But first a small break from the series was in order. The crowd needed to be cooled down after all the stipulation matches. RAW and SmackDown champions prepared to do battle in the ring while Vince and Eric prepared backstage for their impending fight.  
  
First up was the Basham Brothers against Ric Flair and Batista. The flirtatious interaction between Shaniqua and "The Nature Boy" made the match far more entertaining then it should have been. Batista hit a powerbomb on Danny Basham for the easy win in five minutes. Two guys no one cares about, one hugely overrated one, and Ric Flair. This match sure did cool off the crowd.  
  
Speaking of overrated and huge, next The Big Show tangled with Randy Orton. Orton was easily chokeslammed and defeated in 30 seconds. It was quite possibly the greatest face response Big Show had ever received.  
  
Finally in the champion versus champion undercard bouts, Triple H wrestled Brock Lesnar. Do I really need to tell you who won?  
  
How appropriate that the future of World Wrestling Entertainment and the talent within it would be decided in a match between Vince McMahon and Eric Bischoff. They both entered the cell ready to go. By the end of the night they'd be torn to shreds, but it was actually quite therapeutic. Years of festering hatred toward one another was released just a little bit more in every punch. As McMahon rammed Bischoff's bloody head into the cold steel cage, he remembered how this man had the nerve to put NITRO up against his beloved RAW show years back. Now Bischoff was getting the real battle he always wanted. He was getting a one on one competitive battle directly against Vince McMahon. And he was losing it.  
  
Easy E was not going to lie down and take a beating. He had confidence in his abilities when he began NITRO and he had confidence now. No matter how far ahead Vince pulled in the ratings wars between them, Bischoff always felt he had a chance to rebound right up until the buyout of WCW. His strike began in the first place because he was nothing but a punching bag for so-called WWE superstars. Tonight was his chance for revenge and he was going to take it. His knee met Vince's groin bringing the also bleeding WWE chairman to his knees. Bischoff landed some well placed kicks next in hopes of kicking Vince's head right off his shoulders. At this rate he may not even need that surprise.  
  
The battle went back and forth but it hardly resembled a wrestling match. Much like the real promotional wars between them through the years, both competitors fought dirty. Eric had brass knuckles. Vince had white powder. They bled heavier. They sweated harder. They unleashed their hostilities on one another until both men could barely stand up under their own power. After a double clothesline sent them to the canvas, the lights dimmed. It was time for the surprise.  
  
Eric Bischoff and Vince McMahon aren't all that different. Each one thought big when creating new matches. Each tried venturing into other markets. Each broke the rules of pro wrestling; Vince when his promotion went national in the 80s, Bischoff in the way his company competed in the 90s. Each took talent from Japan and ECW through the years. But the biggest similarity of all between them was that each man wanted more than to simply defeat one another. They wanted to humiliate one another. And as it turned out, they each thought of the same man to help them achieve that goal.  
  
That similarity would be Eric Bischoff's downfall.  
  
"MY GOD! MY GOD! IT'S BRUNO SAMMARTINO!"  
  
Jim Ross screamed into his headset as if he'd just seen a ghost. It was a name he had never uttered on a WWE or WWF broadcast. A name he never thought he would ever say. Bruno's title reign has never been matched in wrestling history, yet it is never acknowledged on WWE TV when history of the company is discussed. Vince McMahon made his company into sports-entertainment years ago and Bruno held a grudge ever since. He had wanted nothing to do with the WWF, or WWE as it was now known, for the past 18 years. One would assume he was there to help Eric Bischoff, but one would be wrong.  
  
Despite his advanced age Bruno remained in great shape. It's what kept him recognizable to the announcers. He was in shape enough to rip the steel door off the cell, enter the ring and scoop up a dazed Bischoff. Only he didn't help him to his feet. Instead, he locked the last of the strikers in a bearhug. It was his old signature move that had won him countless matches and broken many opponents' ribs through the years. Tonight it would once again break a rib, and obtain a victory. Only the victory would be for Vince McMahon.  
  
The aftermath wasn't as spectacular as it could've been had the strikers won. Bischoff returned to work as RAW General Manager. Chris Benoit was moved to RAW where he was positioned into a feud with Triple H. Kevin Nash was forced into retirement following his injury. He turned down an office job offer and would make one last attempt for a big paycheck in Japan. Dreamer technically remained on the RAW roster but would probably be free to work elsewhere when his contract was up.  
  
Bruno Sammartino was given a booker job backstage. Perhaps he could help restore some sports to sports-entertainment. He would also be given a lifetime achievement award on RAW by Vince McMahon himself proclaiming Bruno the greatest WWE champion of all time. This was why the former champion chose to help McMahon instead of Bischoff. More than revenge against Vince for changing the sport he loved, Bruno simply wanted to be recognized for all he gave to the business. Hulk Hogan's image was used to promote WrestleMania every year despite his rocky relationship with World Wrestling Entertainment. The Hart family was positively mentioned on WWE programming despite the lawsuit following the death of Owen and the constant bashing from Bret in the Calgary Sun. That's because regardless of his personal feelings toward the individuals, Vince McMahon could not deny what those men did for his company. But he found a way to ignore the contributions of Sammartino. The lack of deserved praise for helping make WWE a successful company today was the deciding factor. With the public acknowledgment of Bruno's contributions to the sport, Vince admitted to being wrong for shunning him all these years. That was all Sammartino really wanted in the first place.  
  
As he watched the award ceremony from backstage, Eric Bischoff couldn't help but smile despite his losing effort to challenge WWE.  
  
Truly, this was a moment of irony. 


End file.
